Life As I See It

FEAR FOREVER EQUIPPED AGAINST ROUGH WATERS Picture this: Growing up with a crack addicted mother, a forever absent father and a absentminded baby sitter. By day, you have a childhood untarnished, by drama; no bullies; no stress; no blemishes. Being in Indiana, placed in foster care seemed like a far off dream. But, at night is when you understand that the only person that you can see as a friend is a bit hands on. You play with toys during the day, only to be played with like a toy at night. So as you grow up and get a chance to see what life is like without questioning the stability of your home life. I mean, it was always in shambles. Between living with family and strangers because people had other plans, where was the love, security and protection? As you progress on in life, you remember that it happened again and again. You can't be happy, because the concepts of the ideology is a foreign policy to you. Afraid to be around women because you can't let yourself g

There are indeed some things that I don't really place emphasis on currently. Like people, aside from the one I love and call my eldest sister, my dad, little brother and cousin. I'm growing listlessly aggravated with dealing with my problems and theirs as well. We've gotten so sensitive that we get rash and offended over little things (me included). We should work on this. "The shortest distance between two points is straight through.

Biggest problem of it all is that everyone wants to judge others without having to be judged. For the last couple of years, people have passed judgement on me without taking into consideration the actions and inactions of their lives. But seeing as how I have accepted Judgement as one of those things that I have to experience in this world. Being friends with a sex hound, a passive music addict, a highly deceptive maniac. And lastly, a person who bases interpretations of oneself off how others think of them. Has proven that until just now, I can get through 11 years of life without allowing facts to influence my decision about the players in this game. Strange right?

It's wild how humility works. Started off the with multiple people saying they were my friend and wanting to date. School was good, work was good..... Everything was wonderful..... 8 hours later: - friends turn into foes - the girls who wanted to date suddenly found a new guy. - and school is going Rocky. So now I have to get back in the foxhole and prepare for a firefight. Kinda why I walk roads instead of climb mountains.

I couldn't be a revolutionary individual...... Reason? Since 12/11/2013, I've been nurturing a violent nature that would rattle a lot of people to their core. I now have the patience and strategy to solve the problem of our community..... Want an example? Let's use police brutality for an example. I'd send 10-15 people to the officers that took lives unnecessarily. If they can't hit them, hit families. Past Present and Future The thing that we lack in the moment is organization We tend to get chaotic in situations. See me, I can't get a leadership role in this BLM movement. People are willing to kill for a change but not will to die for the change that they want to see. Why is that?