Life As I See It

So sometimes, I'll ask people about the type of day they're having: an A Day or a B Day, meaning: how are you looking at the glass; half full or half empty? For me, I look at it like: "who cares about the glass? What's in the glass is the question." I try to imagine that it has tea in it. I love tea! Green tea, black tea, white tea, red tea. I love tea. But that's besides the point. I try to look at it realistically. If it's too low, I'll try to fill up. If it's too high I'll drink some to reach half. Regardless, I don't like to feel too happy or too sad. But I have developed a happy medium. Not too happy; not too sad. What do you think about A days and B days?

Free at last..... Free at last..... THANK GOD ALMIGHTY! I'M FREE AT LAST! There is so much pressure...... And I'm applying about 90% of it 5 years 60 months 260 weeks 1,825 days 2,628,000 minutes 31,536,000 seconds Since the day I had to make a choice between living and dying. And afterwards; having to decide on just how much I love others and love myself. I could have been a true burden and not improved at all and forced my family to have to succumb to being alone and sacrificing their lives to make sure that I can retain mine. Slowly but surely I made sure I broke history and got tubes removed and replaced my past reputation with a better present and a more dynamic future. I've broken records, I've talked people out of committing suicide, I've graduated college, I've taken things in stride...... I've supported people who have been a burden to me and others..... I've supported people who have the time, money, resources and staples to s...

So recently I was on YouTube, and a YouTuber named BugattiBeez was talking about the difference between being Alone and being Lonely . While they seem similar, in definition and usage sometimes (the same way effected and affected can be confused) there are some differences: a) Being left A lone means that you a preference on who or what you CHOOSE to interact with at the time of acknowledgement. b) Being lonely means that you have no desire or reason to connect with anyone else whether you are with a group of friends or family. Or even if you have your phone in your hand and are scrolling through your contacts to see who's available and not wanting to reach out. I realize that I enjoy being by myself. I have more options for what I can do with my time; because it's exactly that, MY . TIME . I have free will to choose whether or not I want to do something tonight or tomorrow and what I want to eat (if anything). But being lonely is where true emptiness comes in. That...

June 8, 2008- I met you with a smile on my face and the cleanest heart possible for someone in my position. Through the ups and downs, I remained ever vigilant to remain the same friend that you needed and but never wanted. 10 years later on July 7, 2018 we got together as a team and briefly faced life as a duo with an incomprehensible amount of energy that went from chaotic to peaceful for awhile....... On August 1, 2018 we split the atom and opened Pandora's box to see what was lain inside of it. Out came a whirlwind of pent up pain and hatred that was donated by you and nurtured by you. Like how a mother nurtures her baby..... On August 18th of the same year, you made it known that you don't want anything to do with me as I don't meet up with your requirements and goals for a man. "It's always dark right before it goes pitch black....." Peace and Devastation......

"Someone please turn off my mind; my thoughts are racing all the time; there is no reason or no rhyme....... I'm trapped inside myself....." At 09:40 everything that I have worked so hard for came to screeching halt. When it was brought to my attention that the one person that I have truly vented to wants to cop out. So right now....I feel DEVASTATED , NEGLECTED , and more often than not: ALONE . Part of me screams for compensation of like weight and measure. Part of me isn't surprised that this is the Four Horsemen coming to greet me at Hell's Gate: War amongst myself; inside myself. Pestilence amongst the death of the inner joy I've felt. Caused by the bottle of venom and sodium pentathol..... Famine as I'm starved of the Ambrosia salad that contains the fruit I desire. Death of the part of me that is bound in chains awaiting the ending of the day...... But that's a hyperbolic monologue that I am going to try and make wrong. Here's ...