Life As I See It

So recently, tried something new; I tried voyeurism. For those that don't know what it is. It's watching your spouse have sex with another person. Not for the possessive or the faint of heart. I tried it with my girlfriend and best friend. They tried to get it to work; I had to step out for a couple of reasons. They panicked because they were afraid I was plotting to kill them both (😂 the nerve of some people). I had to talk them out of their individual guilt trips to keep it moving. Otherwise, we would have had a case on our hands. Long story short: I realized that I am a bit clingy and just how fast I detached when it happened. Oh and Happy Holidays

My dad died yesterday..... I got the news today. How do I feel? Numb, not the numbness felt when you hate someone. But the numbness felt when for the first 15 years of experience; everyday was a painful reminder that you were brought into the world alone and that's essentially the same way you'll go out. Phillip Augustus Holmes, was a talented man, a loving husband and a doting father. He taught me how to fish, how to care for dogs and gave me a taste of my old school music. While I was young when I knew him; I'll never forget the time spent at his house listening to records and getting in trouble for opening collectors edition Hot Wheels cars. I remember getting my hair cut (an army crew cut) by him. I remember him introducing me to his wife (Barbara Holiday - who never got the title she deserved.) All this to say, we are committed to the earth. We are born from clay; and to clay we must return..... Ashes to ashes; dust to dust. Rest in Peace and Quiet Father. Yo

Typically, Birthdays are celebrating the achievement of ending of one chapter and the beginning of the next one. So I'm going to break the tradition of receiving things and give back to the world that (despite the numerous flaws) has kept me motivated to prove a point: that I can be a good change in the world. As I'm typing this, I'm currently donating blood. This significant because 5 years ago I was given blood to keep me alive safely. So today, I'm hoping I give someone else that same gift.

Over the front door...... On the outside should be a ritual that dispells all negative energy and feelings towards anything or anyone. Should be treated like a trashcan for those instances. On the inside should be the driving force behind us moving, shaking and grooving through the world. The reason why I am moving forward is because I see that I have a purpose to show people that not everyone is going to seek to be vengeful or spiteful towards you.

At one point in time, had you had told me that 5 years later I'd be a college graduate with multiple certifications applying to possibly work for the City of Atlanta. I'd look at you like you were facing the left, because there could be no possible way you could be right. But here it is, November 1, 2018; and I'm awaiting my 26th birthday in 7 days and eager to hear from the city to know if I truly made it or not. After dating the one girl that I was practically enamored and on the verge of being obsessed with for years. And lost in a month. I've decided to count my stripes and the blessings from them. At one point in my life, I never knew I would be happy to be a black man in America.

So in recognition of the month of October as breast cancer awareness and mental health awareness month. I'm going to try to take a different approach to the way I make the blog posts. And in this one, I'm going to actually write to the people that I think about on a daily basis and I will let you know how I feel about you. 1. Dad (Anthony T. Bostic) You are truly a blessing and inspiration to me. Allowing me to see you as a person and you parenting me as you have. I've learned a lot from you. I've become a better man with a recognized past, a good present and a interesting future. I went from a personified variable to a high school graduate to a college graduate. You stuck behind me and never folded even when countless people have. As I prepare to move forward and move out; I'm confident that I can prosper with the family you've given me and the family I've created. Thank you. 2. Uncle Harris (Harris C. Bostic, II) Thank you for embracing me as soon a

Free at last..... Free at last..... THANK GOD ALMIGHTY! I'M FREE AT LAST! There is so much pressure...... And I'm applying about 90% of it 5 years 60 months 260 weeks 1,825 days 2,628,000 minutes 31,536,000 seconds Since the day I had to make a choice between living and dying. And afterwards; having to decide on just how much I love others and love myself. I could have been a true burden and not improved at all and forced my family to have to succumb to being alone and sacrificing their lives to make sure that I can retain mine. Slowly but surely I made sure I broke history and got tubes removed and replaced my past reputation with a better present and a more dynamic future. I've broken records, I've talked people out of committing suicide, I've graduated college, I've taken things in stride...... I've supported people who have been a burden to me and others..... I've supported people who have the time, money, resources and staples to s

Not really understanding some things that are happening in the world today, that's how I feel. Screaming: "Yo word to mother...." but quick to pick up a gun. Yeah, that's truly real..... And respect for the ones that keep it true.... Learning about a deuce deuce at twenty two? The fuck you need to learn that for stupid fool?! But that's one question I have and the answer I'll never get; Killing for a difference in opinion is a different sin. Trump supporters or not; let's hear it from both sides and try to be friends. But we're too busy bugging and beefing to look each other in the face; the same one's we spit in.... But quick to swag surf with wolves; post it on the gram. Caption: "#winning" Ask me for my motivation? Sure. I'll tell you. I'm here to be a quieted observer, one that has in his heart and hates being apart..... Of the same group of people who seems to be hell bent on the destruction we won't recover fr

Want to see how I think? Simple: Everyone is equal to everyone. The amount of money that you have is meaningless once that clock strikes zero because you [can't take it when you die; but you can't live without it]. Religion isn't a lifestyle; it's a way to live life to the fullest without unnecessary struggling. You don't immerse yourself in religion and evade life. You live life and avoid the true evils. [My body is my temple and I will live in my temple] We are becoming more of the enemies we hate, watch how fast we lash out at each other. Based on colors, races, genders and sexual orientation. We are going to be the end of the world.....[ghost and goblins run amuck in the cavern of Rhine.......]

So recently I was on YouTube, and a YouTuber named BugattiBeez was talking about the difference between being Alone and being Lonely . While they seem similar, in definition and usage sometimes (the same way effected and affected can be confused) there are some differences: a) Being left A lone means that you a preference on who or what you CHOOSE to interact with at the time of acknowledgement. b) Being lonely means that you have no desire or reason to connect with anyone else whether you are with a group of friends or family. Or even if you have your phone in your hand and are scrolling through your contacts to see who's available and not wanting to reach out. I realize that I enjoy being by myself. I have more options for what I can do with my time; because it's exactly that, MY . TIME . I have free will to choose whether or not I want to do something tonight or tomorrow and what I want to eat (if anything). But being lonely is where true emptiness comes in. That

As I type this, tears are dimming my vision. Not out of sadness, but out of anger; frustration; fear and inadequacy. Angry because I feel as though I wasted everyone's time in chasing a dream that ultimately proved to end in a nightmare. I no longer beg for more time; I look up at the blood red sky and take off my mask for all to see who I am really..... To watch as I have to prepare to leave the veil of my stupidity, of my ignorance, of my shame. And watch as the world built around me crumbles under the weight of my newly found understanding. How could I let people who trusted me and put faith in me watch as I failed. Failed to see the end result that they saw. So as the apocalyptic circumstances are expeditiously approaching, I realize that not everyone who started with me is still here with me. 72 hours of normalcy I was given; 3 days...... Iniki, if you stumble across this, you may hate me...... But you've earned something much worse from me: clarity. That means I

As I type this, tears are dimming my vision. Not out of sadness, but out of anger; frustration; fear and inadequacy. Angry because I feel as though I wasted everyone's time in chasing a dream that ultimately proved to end in a nightmare. I no longer beg for more time; I look up at the blood red sky and take off my mask for all to see who I am really..... To watch as I have to prepare to leave the veil of my stupidity, of my ignorance, of my shame. And watch as the world built around me crumbles under the weight of my newly found understanding. How could I let people who trusted me and put faith in me watch as I failed. Failed to see the end result that they saw. So as the apocalyptic circumstances are expeditiously approaching, I realize that not everyone who started with me is still here with me. 72 hours of normalcy I was given; 3 days...... Iniki, if you stumble across this, you may hate me...... But you've earned something much worse from me: clarity. That means I w

Right now, I'm currently working on getting through the purge of a person that I tried to woo for 10+ years. I know that sounds like a hyperbole; but I can assure that I'm being truthful. What I could do; I did. And what I couldn't do; I tried. But I couldn't do anything that I don't agree with. And it calls to question just how "off the reservation" I am..... I've saved people from suicide and not in the manner of calling their bluff or using scripture. But by talking to them..... Besides....I'll always love you.... But I'll love me more.... Continued on 8/25...... As I truly understand what I am dealing with in terms of my recovery efforts. Because while I saw this coming, it still stings......a lot...... I realize that the process won't be so long winded; arduous and painful. Solely because I wasn't at fault this time [much]. I was called manipulative and selfish; but who isn't? It's said that hindsight is 20/20 so e

June 8, 2008- I met you with a smile on my face and the cleanest heart possible for someone in my position. Through the ups and downs, I remained ever vigilant to remain the same friend that you needed and but never wanted. 10 years later on July 7, 2018 we got together as a team and briefly faced life as a duo with an incomprehensible amount of energy that went from chaotic to peaceful for awhile....... On August 1, 2018 we split the atom and opened Pandora's box to see what was lain inside of it. Out came a whirlwind of pent up pain and hatred that was donated by you and nurtured by you. Like how a mother nurtures her baby..... On August 18th of the same year, you made it known that you don't want anything to do with me as I don't meet up with your requirements and goals for a man. "It's always dark right before it goes pitch black....." Peace and Devastation......

To the storm that just passed, What are you here for? For yourself? Me? For the avoidance of the dark side (which inexplicably you ended up being on.) Because you don't want to talk to me; you just want to leave a destruction in your wake . At first this was supposed to be a pained entry about how you hurt me..... But I have to take into account that this hurts you just as much if not more than I was hurt. So while the questions are still valid; I have to come to the understanding that while I am not able to walk by your side like it was initially dreamt about. I walk behind you, because though you'll want to go your way and date your type of people who fit the mode of the "ideal man". I still love you and will have your back like always. Hopefully I can stay around and complete the Focus set up. But hopefully the memories we've made helps support the decision we've made. I also now understand why you were so reluctant (or so I believe....) "

Question that has been percolating for a long time now: When's the appropriate time to pass away? Is it when you have nothing else to live for? Is it when God calls you home? Is it when your last wheel stops turning? Like when is it? Because it seems like no one is accepting anyone dying not even themselves. But we seem to forget that the only thing that is certain in life is Death . I know that this is a pretty dark post and I apologize if I seem unphased by others feelings towards the subject. But that's the way I view the subject.

Question that has been percolating for a long time now: When's the appropriate time to pass away? Is it when you have nothing else to live for? Is it when God calls you home? Is it when your last wheel stops turning? Like when is it? Because it seems like no one is accepting anyone dying not even themselves. But we seem to forget that the only thing that is certain in life is Death . I know that this is a pretty dark post and I apologize if I seem unphased by others feelings towards the subject. But that's the way I view the subject.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=695926257142430&id=329129757155417 What I can do, I've done; what I couldn't do, I've tried...... The worst thing about achieving is the painful realization of winning a battle of epic proportions knowing that you had no one standing behind you.... I've gone through hell, crossed bridges, climbed mountains just to see what the other side looks like..... Only to find that some people I did it with were people that doubted me every step of the way...... Slow progress is better than no progress.... But at the same time: self reliance is the best reliance....

"As I progress, beset by the corrections I've made, the goals I've achieved, the one's that I have yet to reach. The friends that I have, the friends of my enemies and the chaos I've left in search of the day when I find peace. I must say that I have yet to receive a standing ovation from anyone that stands strong enough to outweigh the pain I've caused me and others." "As I stand out from the crowd, in the face of eternal bedlam, and acknowledge the one's who have gone to be where they made true, understanding that is a future in which my drop of water and grain of rice can very easily help topple the darkness within each person, while minimizing the light, I must think about pre-planning, media-planning and post-planning with the limits I've acquired by the Fates. While I'm not the most fortunate person who ever lived, I am one of the most lucky one's to ever come from what and where I came from.

"For the longest time; you asked me why I'm here. What's my purpose in staying? Have you ever considered that maybe my purpose is to help you find your purpose? You're right, maybe you don't want me. Maybe I'm not the one who keeps your mind at ease and heart full. But what if I am? What if I am the one but it is not my time yet. I've always been here for you, through my bloodshed, pain and stress and yours. This isn't about pulling rank this is about dedication. You don't believe that I have a relationship with Christ. But with Christ-like patience; fortitude and sacrifice. I have stood feet planted; arms-like welcoming friends and enemies alike to give and take as they saw fit. We believe different because we are different. But I fight for an audience with you; you've judged me by my past; not present or future. I was confused and in pain back then. But I'm coming to accept the crosses I have to bear in life. So while you focus on your

1) "I love you..." 2) "I missed you babe....." 3) "I won't fold unless......." These are the reasons I love you.......the support you gave me; but arsenium is one hell of a way to go right? I know you don't care and you didn't like him but image the look on my dad's face when I had to tell him that we are done...... 06/2008 until 07/2018: a decades amount of time..... just gone........wiped away like it was insignificant....... Until we meet again right?

"Someone please turn off my mind; my thoughts are racing all the time; there is no reason or no rhyme....... I'm trapped inside myself....." At 09:40 everything that I have worked so hard for came to screeching halt. When it was brought to my attention that the one person that I have truly vented to wants to cop out. So right now....I feel DEVASTATED , NEGLECTED , and more often than not: ALONE . Part of me screams for compensation of like weight and measure. Part of me isn't surprised that this is the Four Horsemen coming to greet me at Hell's Gate: War amongst myself; inside myself. Pestilence amongst the death of the inner joy I've felt. Caused by the bottle of venom and sodium pentathol..... Famine as I'm starved of the Ambrosia salad that contains the fruit I desire. Death of the part of me that is bound in chains awaiting the ending of the day...... But that's a hyperbolic monologue that I am going to try and make wrong. Here's

So it's been 7 years since you've been laid to rest. One would think that you would take better care of a younger sibling right? Apparently, you decided that touching a little brother and hiding from our parents kept you from the bottom of the page. Right? Well baby girl; karma tends to strike at odd times..... Touching me (amongst other things) caused you to suffer through the cyclical process of life and having to deal with the worst card possible: cancer. My question is: why? - Why me? - Why then? - Why hide it? You had a darling baby girl named Nevaeh (ironically enough, it fits the backwards logic behind your logic); but I wonder, would you have touched her the same way you desecrated me. The body is a temple that you took advantage of. But you are forgiven; because I don't want you to feel like a death knoll is enough to make amends.

For 5 years , we looked for you; to connect with you, to be reassured that you are indeed safe. For two and three of us to touch and agree and have you in our midst. To love and hugs out the various demons that have loomed over your shoulder as you have had to watch helplessly as your husband; your best friend left for reasons unbeknownst to me. As your kids were taken away from you by government intervention. You were left by yourself to chase the dragon; to run away from the pain, the failures, the actions and inactions; to endure silently as not one but BOTH of your donations to the future zeitgeist found the love that people swore you couldn't provide them. Because who are they to question the ordained loyalty and love you have for the only things that made this hell bearable?! To watch as you were already on turbulent ground with your eldest daughter, and find out that she has a daughter that you can't touch or see. To find out that your kid brother is savagely beating y

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost....." Everything that has existed, is existing or will ever exist will follow this premise. This can be translated into the Law of Conservation. This states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; but rather transformed or transferred. Whether we can comprehend the creation of philosophical guidelines or manufacturing goods for the populace of this biosphere we occupy; we comply to this principle. This original principle is known as the Principle of Equivalent Exchange. Because to whom much is given; much is required. Right?

".....to obtain something; an item of equivalent value must be sacrificed..... this is the principle of equivalent exchange" I've given time; I've given energy; I've made sacrifices ("...I done gave up so much free time knowing time ain't free..."). Now that I am asking for reciprocation and hardly anyone has any desire to do so. "I can't..." "I won't..." "I don't..." So why should I continue to try and make it work when people don't (or won't) have the clairvoyance to make it work on both sides? Care to explain?

Realizing that life isn't a river...... It's an ocean, and we're not on the beach, we're the inhabitants of it. Whether we want to admit to it or not; we can't resist the fluidity of it. We just have to live and make the most of it before we can't swim anymore. As time goes on, we evolve and pick which type of fish we are and what we plan on doing with our choice. We can be easy prey for sharks, be majestic like a dolphin. Be as reclusive as octopus or as shrouded as the fish deep. Which do you prefer?

So today is July 18th, and I've been thinking: "what has made me.....well 'me'?" I understand that a person is the summation of all the actions, inactions, experiences and inexperiences that he/she has chosen. But what about the choices of others? If say a person (we'll label them A) went back and changed an action (labeling this x^nth). How would that action revision change your choice of actions?? Would it lead you changing you into a completely different person? So now we have a equation (a +(-)x^nth=??) Because no one knows how the divergence would really end right? What if all the tears and fears could be avoided by simply making different choices. But at the same time, what if those same revisions cost us happiness and peace promised to us further down the road? Let's say that you were given two books: one about the life you're currently living and one where your choices were changed; would you read over the changes?

"Die a hero; or live long enough to see yourself become a villain...." I've made my choice to contribute; to love; to help others until I'm placed 6 feet under in a pine box.... This is my focus, my vision for my future. I have made a choice where I have no other way to live with myself and push the envelope. "If it's meant then it'll be; of it's not then fuck it I'mma try....." Because one day everybody gotta die and live deal with the choices made while alive right??

Realness by T.C.H. Bostic: To see what I've seen, to understand what's been understood, to go where I've gone; you must shed some tears, face some fears, tell some lies, Let some dreams die and see some angels fly. You must: fail but still try, you must shine bright on the darkest night, keep your head up and your goals in sight. Understand that the best path isn't always the quickest, every branch isn't always the stiffest and every come up won't always make you the richest.

So I want to say that I am currently working on myself and my actions. But at this current moment at roughly 6:30 in the morning; I am upset. "And the award for the biggest understatement of the week goes to......" Better yet; I'm absolutely PISSED! I feel like I'm in the casino playing Blackjack way too long and I'm going to crap out instead of cash out like I'm supposed to. How dare I make a move and think about the future moves?! Looks like I need to go back to the drawing board......

Follow me now because might throw you askew for a loop: I am the summation of the angels and demons that I've embraced and somewhat created. I by no means am claiming omnipotence of ANY degree. But inherently speaking; my actions and inactions have led certain people to act irrationally and what someone would view as "self-centric". So we all have an influence on the way people interact, no matter the concentration.

It is said that every Genesis; there's a revelation. For the past 10 years, I've chased a dream thought to be deferred. Heartache after heartache; depression turned to suppression and I had to swallow it all for the sake of slowly gaining strength of resistance. But like a VIRUS the apocalyptic circumstances come back and this time I've outran the crisis. But I've allowed myself to remain in the presence of the Devil and Reaper...... What do I do?

I am by Christopher Bostic " To some, I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing. To some, I am a angel in a demon's outfit To some, I am the pillar that holds their temple of tranquility. To some, I am the dividing line between Triumph and Despair." I am Life. I am your sun and moonlight. I can be either your best dream or worst nightmare. I can be your biggest hero or your greatest villain. I can be your help or your harm. I am YOU.

Wanna know how I see the world? It's not that hard, it's just really demoralizing to some and misunderstood by others. As we all know: there are good and bad things in the world. Karma helps dictate what you'll receive. In any case/situation, I'm painfully aware of both sides of the fence. Yeah I know; I know. I've been called a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer because I have spoken about things that sounds like a bad idea and I'm ok with that. Why? Because I actually acknowledge that both sides exist and have equal parts in my life. If I ignore one, that means it'll hurt more if it happens. Y'know?

So in light of Beyoncé's recent performance, I have to say congratulations on the accomplishments following: 1) Being the first Black person to headline Coachella. 2) Creating another generation of fanatics who are willing to pay exuberant amounts of money to see something that they could get for free. 3) for possibly damaging a untold number of relationships that were probably on the verge of a critical mass meltdown in the first place. 4) for playing into a trending topic that has been going on for DECADES. I'm talking about the entirety of the Black Movement. If we're lions and tigers and bears (oh my!); why are we announcing our presence like we are bush babies and feeding the hyenas of the world. Are you really uplifting the world or are you cashing out on a captive audience? The fucked up part of it is that we're lying to ourselves that we're benefitting from you and the footsteps you've made in the mud (because until someone else comes along and dis

For 25 years I've had to brushups with the darker minds of society. Robbers  Killers Drug dealers Rapists And child molesters. "To get to where you are going, you must first acknowledge where you are." Who am I? Where was I? Where am I going? I ask myself these multiple times a day. I've been told that I was resourceful, intelligent, cunning at times. But that's tapping into the situation I came from, the antisocial, baser side that dad has repulsed daily for 10 years. But......in an effort to find himself; he has begun to alienate me. Making me feel less than useful. Reminding and enjoying reminiscing on my failures and shortcomings. He wants maturity, but what is developing is a side that I don't know if I can control: As the first picture shows, I am slipping. Slipping into a unfamiliar realm that I have no idea how or WHAT I'm going to do or even be for that matter. I always that once I got "...o

So y'all in these African colors, what do they mean to you? Is it an improvement, a movement, or just another thing to do? See BLM, was a movement before it became something to rep. I thank my lucky stars when I wake, and thank y'all when I step. Because y'all didn't try to rob, kill or destroy me for the fame from it. That's seem to be why guys think that they would get play from it. Black Lives do Matter; but mine matters first-hand. I'll do what I can to help yours, but I'm only one man. Try as I might, pray as hard you can. But I can't change the land.....

Certain people these days are getting useless. I really shouldn't complain because I'm really used to this. Half in; half out. At least that's how my family works. Not the one's that chose me, but the one I was born into. (jerks) So all the fronts and tears because of all the fears. Please stop. I was sick then; I'm alive now. I'm still climbing to the top.

On Instagram, and I saw one of my friends and followers post a picture in a low cut tank top captioned "Mixed with a LOT of Savage" and it makes me wonder: if we lost our most complimented feature, what would we back it up with? Like for me: my hair is the first thing people notice about me. If I were to go bald, join the military or cut my hair; my intelligence is my closest ally followed by my manners and work ethic. But she relies on sex appeal and honestly as watch from a distance, she doesn't have much left. But that's my spill on the subject.

To whom this may concern, In an effort to avoid putting you on blast over the internet. I'll state the things I have always to say to but was too kind-hearted to say to you. So we dated for a year and a half. Broke up ultimately because you didn't want affection, what you wanted was a punching bag; but couldn't find it in me because I refused to regress back to my "foster care" state where I was a patsy for everyone. But you also gave up on me, because of the little things that I did, you know like pranks and things. But the threesome's, the cheating, the lying, your attempts at prideful self-gratification. The contrarian ordeal where you are anti-every-single-fucking-thing-that-creates-solutions-instead-of-problems. The fact that my intelligence shook you, or maybe the fact that I'm not going to throw a pity party solely because of things that I don't want to do like you do. I was more of a victim, and I don't whine and complain as much. But

So talking with my dad this morning and he asked me about my plans for today. I replied: nothing. He demanded to know why and I respond: "because we can't get a good time to see each other". Which in fact the truth mind you. He begins to get irritated because I'm not giving him a fighting chance. Which is by far my largest trigger, if you're reading this PLEASE DON'T GET SIDEWAYS with me. The closer we are in age, the more vengeful I'll be. So as mind you we're still going back and forth. And he's suggesting that I talk to women and get a different perspective on the day. Then I say: well I guess I'm selfish. He retorts: "you're not selfish". After saying that I'm only concerned about myself in relationships. Then goes on to say: I have a bunch of female friends that talk to me about this situation. Oh really? Then explain to me: if y'all are so informed about the rights and wrongs about the dating game. THEN TELL ME

Yes, the question mark is intentional. How come we associate love with a winged baby with a bow and arrow? Nigga has got to be white; because if he was black the FBI would be out treating folks like DC Sniper suspects and shit. 😂 But in all seriousness though, So today's Valentine's Day, that means that women may start asking: "NIGGA, What have you done for me lately?!" In a Janet Jackson manner of speaking, to which some niggas will be like: 🤔 *Insert crickets here* See nowadays, sex isn't a rarity anymore but going out on a date is. No, like in all seriousness though, a lot of people have been so far out the dating game. We (me included) have forgotten it even existed. Hell, and it's not even about the expenses used, if anything, it's about the way you acknowledge it. Now granted, I'm not talking about you taking her out on a stack of coupons. But hell, at least a small dinner will work right? Thought so. Peace.

FEAR FOREVER EQUIPPED AGAINST ROUGH WATERS Picture this: Growing up with a crack addicted mother, a forever absent father and a absentminded baby sitter. By day, you have a childhood untarnished, by drama; no bullies; no stress; no blemishes. Being in Indiana, placed in foster care seemed like a far off dream. But, at night is when you understand that the only person that you can see as a friend is a bit hands on. You play with toys during the day, only to be played with like a toy at night. So as you grow up and get a chance to see what life is like without questioning the stability of your home life. I mean, it was always in shambles. Between living with family and strangers because people had other plans, where was the love, security and protection? As you progress on in life, you remember that it happened again and again. You can't be happy, because the concepts of the ideology is a foreign policy to you. Afraid to be around women because you can't let yourself g

There are indeed some things that I don't really place emphasis on currently. Like people, aside from the one I love and call my eldest sister, my dad, little brother and cousin. I'm growing listlessly aggravated with dealing with my problems and theirs as well. We've gotten so sensitive that we get rash and offended over little things (me included). We should work on this. "The shortest distance between two points is straight through.

Biggest problem of it all is that everyone wants to judge others without having to be judged. For the last couple of years, people have passed judgement on me without taking into consideration the actions and inactions of their lives. But seeing as how I have accepted Judgement as one of those things that I have to experience in this world. Being friends with a sex hound, a passive music addict, a highly deceptive maniac. And lastly, a person who bases interpretations of oneself off how others think of them. Has proven that until just now, I can get through 11 years of life without allowing facts to influence my decision about the players in this game. Strange right?

It's wild how humility works. Started off the with multiple people saying they were my friend and wanting to date. School was good, work was good..... Everything was wonderful..... 8 hours later: - friends turn into foes - the girls who wanted to date suddenly found a new guy. - and school is going Rocky. So now I have to get back in the foxhole and prepare for a firefight. Kinda why I walk roads instead of climb mountains.

I couldn't be a revolutionary individual...... Reason? Since 12/11/2013, I've been nurturing a violent nature that would rattle a lot of people to their core. I now have the patience and strategy to solve the problem of our community..... Want an example? Let's use police brutality for an example. I'd send 10-15 people to the officers that took lives unnecessarily. If they can't hit them, hit families. Past Present and Future The thing that we lack in the moment is organization We tend to get chaotic in situations. See me, I can't get a leadership role in this BLM movement. People are willing to kill for a change but not will to die for the change that they want to see. Why is that?