KOD = Knocked Out Daily

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ohhhhhhh the ummmmmm

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Another moment where I am in a group and I feel alone. Distance between me and fitting in appropriately? Approximately 8 million light-years. Can't explain what I'm feeling or why feel the way that I do. Probably because as a straight black man in America. I'm too weak to be "manly", too strong to be "weak", too weird to be "normal" and too normal to be "weird". Protection aside, I now have to bleed out on my own, kill on my own and live on my own. I do what I can to avoid any assumptions. Doing what I choose is how I am where I am..... Never have I ever been remembered for the smiles and laugh that I caused. Only the pain and devastation.  I am the summation of the flaws, mistakes, tragedies and erroneous claims.
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Equal Parts; Equal Exchange

".....to obtain something; an item of equivalent value must be sacrificed..... this is the principle of equivalent exchange" I've given time; I've given energy; I've made sacrifices ("...I done gave up so much free time knowing time ain't free..."). Now that I am asking for reciprocation and hardly anyone has any desire to do so. "I can't..." "I won't..." "I don't..." So why should I continue to try and make it work when people don't (or won't) have the clairvoyance to make it work on both sides? Care to explain?
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Letter to a Lost Love.....

To the storm that just passed, What are you here for? For yourself? Me? For the avoidance of the dark side (which inexplicably you ended up being on.) Because you don't want to talk to me; you just want to leave a destruction in your wake . At first this was supposed to be a pained entry about how you hurt me..... But I have to take into account that this hurts you just as much if not more than I was hurt. So while the questions are still valid; I have to come to the understanding that while I am not able to walk by your side like it was initially dreamt about. I walk behind you, because though you'll want to go your way and date your type of people who fit the mode of the "ideal man". I still love you and will have your back like always. Hopefully I can stay around and complete the Focus set up. But hopefully the memories we've made helps support the decision we've made. I also now understand why you were so reluctant (or so I believe....) "...
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